


The weight of a heart

by Ari_writes



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:28:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ari_writes/pseuds/Ari_writes
Summary: Victor just thinking about his fears late at night.





	The weight of a heart

        _S_ _ometimes I wonder what it's like to have lots of people care for you. Then I realize I do have lots of people caring for me, but why do they seem so far away, so out of reach. People say they care yet it feels like they will leave me within a moments notice. Just like some once did. This fear is most prevalent at night, when I'm by myself just thinking. Just laying in bed replaying the day, dwelling over every mistake._

_Then as time goes on I fall deeper and deeper into this way of thinking. Slowly my mind becomes even more dark. What's the point if everyone will just leave me? Will anyone stay? Am I forcing everyone to stay? Do they take pity on me? Slowly all these become more and more louder like a voice. That voice becomes more voices. Till I hear every little terrible thing that has been said to me. Those people may have left me, but the scars are still there._

_My will to go on decreases. The more time passes I realize every mistake I made, every hurtful word I have every said, every time I made anyone angry or sad, makes me more of a terrible human being. Why do people stand by such a disgusting human? Such a waste of space. Why? I want to know._

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

        Yuri walks into the apartment he shares with Victor. He silently edged around to put his stuff away assuming Victor was asleep as it was very late. He set down the last of his gear and headed into their room slowly, trying his best not to make noise. As he opened the door just a crack he met with a sight. His lover was awake and sitting with his back facing the door.

"Victor? Why are you still awake?" 

        Victor's hands moved quickly towards his face. He turned around, with a big fake smile. The kind that was given at a media event he didn't want to be a part of at all. You could see the faint tear stains all over his face. His nose was also looking a bit red. Yuri could tell that he was clearly hiding something. It must be terrible if it was making him hide it. 

"What's wrong Vitya? Please tell me." 

        He looked directly at Yuri, smile dropping as big brown eyes meet his tearful blue ones. Yuri could just feel how drained Victor was. It was evident in every little move, every expression. All of a sudden, the eyes that held shiny crystal tears, that reflected the moon light dropped. Yuri was startled and walked over slowly and sat down next to him. He put his arms out hesitantly, unsure if it would help. 

        Victor wrapped his arms around Yuri. He holding on as though Yuri would disappear at a moments notice. Yuri hugged his lover back. He began drawing small circles on his back hoping it would help. Yuri wasn't any good at this stuff, being a mess himself, but would try his best using things his family used to help him. Right now he just let his lover cry it all out. Silently and patiently, he waited for Victor to be ready to explain.

"Yuri...will you leave me?"

"Never Vitya, never."

"It feels like you and everyone else will one day pack up and leave my life. You, Yurio, and everyone else. know you all care. Yet you all seem so distant. Will I only cause you all trouble? I mean look what I did in that parking garage. You were all ready nervous, yet I went on and messed you up even more."

        Yuri took a moment to process all that has just been said. It felt like an echo he knew all too well. One that was a familiar as a routine engraved into his memory. Even the happiest of people struggle with inner demons.

"Vitya, we all mess up. We are all stupid at times. What we need to do is to get back up." 

"How can you be so sure? These mistakes seem to cost so much and make me lose many people. I'm terrible and—"

        Yuri broke the hug and looked directly at Victor. 

"Stop. We are all going to make mistakes. The people who leave over one little mistake are the ones not worth having. Don't worry I won't leave you I'll stand by you no matter what. So will Yurio, Chris, everyone we have made friends with, and the rest of team Russia."

       Victor hugged Yuri. More tears began forming in eyes. Not from sadness but from seeing how much he cared. Now looking back on old memories about everyone else and how they had been there for him. His tears were now in gratitude of how much they had all helped him get where he needed to be.

"Thanks. I needed this." 

        Victor felt like huge weights had been lifted from his chest. Ones of regret and fear. He leaned back into the bed, taking Yuri down with him and they both started laughing.

"I need to shower first, but then we can cuddle." 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ummm... Hi, hopefully you liked this. (I mean I say this is good for my first time writing fanfiction.) Thank you for reading. :3 Please comment down below if there was anything I could do better in terms of story telling and grammar. (Also if I made any spelling mistakes.) Any feed back on how I could improve would be helpful. I want to be able to make more interesting and longer fanfiction. Also the first part in case i didn't make it clear enough was from Victor's pov. I just thought it would be dumb to write the pov cause everyone is intelligent enough to figure stuff out with context clues. (I'm worried it was confusing and I didn't get my point out properly.) I bid everyone fair well.


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